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Overcoming Guilt & Building Tenacity in Kids & Adults | Dr. Becky Kennedy

Huberman Lab

The Huberman Lab podcast is hosted by Andrew Huberman, Ph.D., a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the department of neurobiology, and by courtesy, psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford School of Medicine. The podcast discusses neuroscience and science-based tools, including how our brain and its connections with the organs of our body control our perceptions, our behaviors, and our health, as well as existing and emerging tools for measuring and changing how our nervous system works.
Huberman has made numerous significant contributions to the fields of brain development, brain function, and neural plasticity, which is the ability of our nervous system to rewire and learn new behaviors, skills, and cognitive functioning. He is a McKnight Foundation and Pew Foundation Fellow and was awarded the Cogan Award, given to the scientist making the most significant discoveries in the study of vision, in 2017. 
Work from the Huberman Laboratory at Stanford School of Medicine has been published in top journals, including Nature, Science, and Cell, and has been featured in TIME, BBC, Scientific American, Discover, and other top media outlets.
In 2021, Dr. Huberman launched the Huberman Lab podcast. The podcast is frequently ranked in the top 10 of all podcasts globally and is often ranked #1 in the categories of Science, Education, and Health & Fitness.

In this episode, my guest is Dr. Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, renowned expert on parent-child relationships and founder of Good Inside, an educational platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss how to learn, embody, and teach better emotional processing, leading to healthier relationships in parenting, work, romantic partnerships and friendships. Dr. Kennedy shares practical strategies for managing guilt, building frustration tolerance, and nurturing emotional intelligence, as well as the impact of technology on emotional processing. This conversation aims to empower listeners to cultivate resilient, loving and supportive connections across all areas of life.
Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com.
Thank you to our sponsors
AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman
Wealthfront**: https://wealthfront.com/huberman
Our Place: https://fromourplace.com/huberman
Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman
LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman
Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman
**This experience may not be representative of the experience of other clients of Wealthfront, and there is no guarantee that all clients will have similar experiences. Cash Account is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC. The Annual Percentage Yield (“APY”) on cash deposits as of December 27,‬ 2024, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to partner banks where they earn the variable‭ APY. Promo terms and FDIC coverage conditions apply. Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer.
Timestamps
00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy; LA Fires
00:03:13 Emotions, Parents & Kids, Information, Tools: Story; “Right to Notice”
00:11:24 Sponsors: Wealthfront & Our Place
00:14:25 Empathy, Kids & Parents
00:18:33 Sturdiness, Pilot Analogy, Tool: Parental Self-Care
00:26:34 Emotions, Rigidity, Moody vs Steady Kids, Siblings
00:32:51 Emotion Talk, Crying; Eye Rolls, Tools: Not Taking Bait; Discuss Struggle
00:39:26 Parent-Child Power Dynamics, Tools: Requests for Parent; Repair
00:48:50 Sponsors: AG1 & Joovv
00:51:39 Power & Authority, Tools: Learning More; Parent Primary Job & Safety
00:59:16 Statements of Stance, Actions vs Emotions; Values, Behaviors & Rigidity
01:05:59 Guilt, Women; Tools: “Not Guilt”, Tennis Court Analogy & Empathy
01:15:46 Sponsors: LMNT & Eight Sleep
01:18:41 Guilt, Relationships, Tool: Naming Values Directly
01:26:06 Locate Others & Values; Sturdy Leadership; Parenting & Shame
01:31:36 Egg Analogy & Boundaries; Tools: Frame Separation; Pilot & Turbulence; Safety
01:39:30 Projection, “Porous”; Tools: Gazing In vs Out, Most Generous Interpretation
01:45:51 Tools: “Soften”; Do Nothing & Difficult Situations; Proving Parenting
01:51:05 Gazing In vs Out, Scales; Self-Needs & Inconvenience
02:00:05 Stress & Story, Nervous; Relationships vs Efficiency
02:08:46 Technology, Relationships, Frustration Tolerance, Gratification
02:15:18 Slowing Down, Phones, Frustration, Capability
02:21:42 Immediate Gratification, Effort & Struggle, Dopamine
02:29:25 Confidence, Board Games, Parental Modeling
02:34:04 Ultra-Performers & Pressure, Emptiness
02:41:29 Trying Things, Unlived Dreams, Frustration Tolerance, Tool: Learning Space
02:51:08 Learning & Building Frustration Tolerance, Tantrums; Feelings & Story
03:03:00 Tool: Using Story; Shame, Punishment
03:12:55 Leadership & Storytelling, Tools: Asking Questions; Songs & Learning
03:23:21 Miss Edson, Momentum, Tool: Small First Steps
03:30:15 Tools: Parents & Starting Point
03:36:29 Good Inside, Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
Disclaimer & Disclosures

My guest is Becky Kennedy, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, renowned expert on parent-child relationships and founder of Good Inside, an educational platform for parents and parents-to-be. We discuss how to learn, embody and teach better emotional processing, leading to healthier relationships in parenting, work, romantic partnerships and friendships. Dr. Kennedy shares practical strategies for managing guilt, building frustration tolerance and nurturing emotional intelligence, as well as the impact of technology on emotional processing. This conversation aims to empower listeners to cultivate resilient, loving and supportive connections across all areas of life.

Sponsors

AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman

Wealthfront*: https://wealthfront.com/huberman

Our Place: https://fromourplace.com/huberman

Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman

LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman

Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman

*This experience may not be representative of the experience of other clients of Wealthfront, and there is no guarantee that all clients will have similar experiences. Cash Account is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC. The Annual Percentage Yield (“APY”) on cash deposits as of December 27,‬ 2024, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to partner banks where they earn the variable‭ APY. Promo terms and FDIC coverage conditions apply. Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer.

Timestamps

00:00:00 Dr. Becky Kennedy; LA Fires

00:03:13 Emotions, Parents & Kids, Information, Tools: Story; “Right to Notice”

00:11:24 Sponsors: Wealthfront & Our Place

00:14:25 Empathy, Kids & Parents

00:18:33 Sturdiness, Pilot Analogy, Tool: Parental Self-Care

00:26:34 Emotions, Rigidity, Moody vs Steady Kids, Siblings

00:32:51 Emotion Talk, Crying; Eye Rolls, Tools: Not Taking Bait; Discuss Struggle

00:39:26 Parent-Child Power Dynamics, Tools: Requests for Parent; Repair

00:48:50 Sponsors: AG1 & Joovv

00:51:39 Power & Authority, Tools: Learning More; Parent Primary Job & Safety

00:59:16 Statements of Stance, Actions vs Emotions; Values, Behaviors & Rigidity

01:05:59 Guilt, Women; Tools: “Not Guilt”, Tennis Court Analogy & Empathy

01:15:46 Sponsors: LMNT & Eight Sleep

01:18:41 Guilt, Relationships, Tool: Naming Values Directly

01:26:06 Locate Others & Values; Sturdy Leadership; Parenting & Shame

01:31:36 Egg Analogy & Boundaries; Tools: Frame Separation; Pilot & Turbulence; Safety

01:39:30 Projection, “Porous”; Tools: Gazing In vs Out, Most Generous Interpretation

01:45:51 Tools: “Soften”; Do Nothing & Difficult Situations; Proving Parenting

01:51:05 Gazing In vs Out, Scales; Self-Needs & Inconvenience

02:00:05 Stress & Story, Nervous; Relationships vs Efficiency

02:08:46 Technology, Relationships, Frustration Tolerance, Gratification

02:15:18 Slowing Down, Phones, Frustration, Capability

02:21:42 Immediate Gratification, Effort & Struggle, Dopamine

02:29:25 Confidence, Board Games, Parental Modeling

02:34:04 Ultra-Performers & Pressure, Emptiness

02:41:29 Trying Things, Unlived Dreams, Frustration Tolerance, Tool: Learning Space

02:51:08 Learning & Building Frustration Tolerance, Tantrums; Feelings & Story

03:03:00 Tool: Using Story; Shame, Punishment

03:12:55 Leadership & Storytelling, Tools: Asking Questions; Songs & Learning

03:23:21 Miss Edson, Momentum, Tool: Small First Steps

03:30:15 Tools: Parents & Starting Point

03:36:29 Good Inside, Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, YouTube Feedback, Sponsors, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
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