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Defining Healthy Masculinity & How to Build It | Terry Real

Huberman Lab

The Huberman Lab podcast is hosted by Andrew Huberman, Ph.D., a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the department of neurobiology, and by courtesy, psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford School of Medicine. The podcast discusses neuroscience and science-based tools, including how our brain and its connections with the organs of our body control our perceptions, our behaviors, and our health, as well as existing and emerging tools for measuring and changing how our nervous system works.
Huberman has made numerous significant contributions to the fields of brain development, brain function, and neural plasticity, which is the ability of our nervous system to rewire and learn new behaviors, skills, and cognitive functioning. He is a McKnight Foundation and Pew Foundation Fellow and was awarded the Cogan Award, given to the scientist making the most significant discoveries in the study of vision, in 2017. 
Work from the Huberman Laboratory at Stanford School of Medicine has been published in top journals, including Nature, Science, and Cell, and has been featured in TIME, BBC, Scientific American, Discover, and other top media outlets.
In 2021, Dr. Huberman launched the Huberman Lab podcast. The podcast is frequently ranked in the top 10 of all podcasts globally and is often ranked #1 in the categories of Science, Education, and Health & Fitness.

Terry Real is a therapist and best-selling author expert on male emotional health and how men can build the skills for healthy relating to others: in relationships, work, friendships and to themselves. We discuss how mixed and ever-changing messages about what masculinity is are impacting the mental and physical health of men and boys. Terry explains how learning the skill of "relationality" leads to improvements in all aspects of boys' and men's lives and shares practical tools for how to do that. We also discuss the essential role of having a close male community to build confidence and self-esteem. This conversation offers actionable guidance for boys, men and women seeking to build healthier relationships with themselves and others.

Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com.

Thank you to our sponsors

AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman

BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman

David: https://davidprotein.com/huberman

Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman

Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman

Timestamps

(00:00:00) Terry Real

(00:02:53) Men & Masculinity, Political vs Psychological Patriarchy, Feminism

(00:07:39) Stoicism, Vulnerability, Traditional Masculinity, Emotions

(00:10:50) Sponsors: BetterHelp & David

(00:13:14) Masculinity Across Decades, Giving; Gratification vs Relational Joy

(00:21:54) Healthy Emotional Expression, Connection & Vulnerability; Self-Esteem

(00:31:17) Feeling Emotions, Tools: Asking For Help; Fights & "What Do You Need?"

(00:35:10) Self-Esteem & Relationship Accountability; Criticism, Redefining Strength

(00:40:47) Sponsor: AG1

(00:42:32) Healthy Criticism, Tool: Women & Articulating Needs

(00:50:21) Childlike Behavior, Wise Adult & Trauma, Tool: Relational Mindfulness

(00:58:11) Tool: Responsible Distance Taking; Self-Interest; Relationship "Biosphere"

(01:08:14) Alcohol, Men & Friends, Loneliness, Men's Retreat

(01:17:51) Fraternities, Men's Groups, Tool: Relationship vs Individual Support 

(01:25:39) Sponsor: Function

(01:27:27) Lack of Male Friends, Hiking, Community, Teaching Young Men

(01:36:11) Cannabis, Alcohol, Young Men & Purpose, Flexibility & Manliness

(01:40:40) Work, Life Purpose & Men; Skillful Warriors

(01:45:01) Absent Fathers; Early Childhood & Proper Nurturing; Caretaking

(01:53:24) Sponsor: Waking Up

(01:54:47) Women & Speaking Relationally, Objectivity Battle

(01:59:02) Addiction & Disconnection, 12-Step Meetings & Fellowship

(02:08:04) Pornography, Internet, Intensity vs Intimacy; Optimization

(02:11:57) Tool: Families & Hanging Out; Relational Joy; Relational Recovery

(02:22:29) Giving Criticism, Tools: Make Requests; Feedback Wheel

(02:28:21) Gratitude, Aging; Skillful Fighting in Relationship & Repair

(02:34:17) Men & Self-Esteem, Mentors, Tool: Inner Dialogue without Harshness

(02:44:00) Y Chromosome, Wholeness

(02:48:00) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter

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