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How to Succeed at Hard Conversations | Chris Voss

Huberman Lab

The Huberman Lab podcast is hosted by Andrew Huberman, Ph.D., a neuroscientist and tenured professor in the department of neurobiology, and by courtesy, psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford School of Medicine. The podcast discusses neuroscience and science-based tools, including how our brain and its connections with the organs of our body control our perceptions, our behaviors, and our health, as well as existing and emerging tools for measuring and changing how our nervous system works.
Huberman has made numerous significant contributions to the fields of brain development, brain function, and neural plasticity, which is the ability of our nervous system to rewire and learn new behaviors, skills, and cognitive functioning. He is a McKnight Foundation and Pew Foundation Fellow and was awarded the Cogan Award, given to the scientist making the most significant discoveries in the study of vision, in 2017. 
Work from the Huberman Laboratory at Stanford School of Medicine has been published in top journals, including Nature, Science, and Cell, and has been featured in TIME, BBC, Scientific American, Discover, and other top media outlets.
In 2021, Dr. Huberman launched the Huberman Lab podcast. The podcast is frequently ranked in the top 10 of all podcasts globally and is often ranked #1 in the categories of Science, Education, and Health & Fitness.

In this episode, my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate difficult conversations of all kinds, including in business, romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in person and in written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication skills and for those who want to be able to keep a level head in heated discussions. 
For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.
Thank you to our sponsors
AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman
Plunge: https://plunge.com/huberman
ROKA: https://roka.com/huberman
InsideTracker: https://insidetracker.com/huberman
InsideTracker Giveaway: https://info.insidetracker.com/hydrow
Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman
Timestamps
(00:00:00) Chris Voss
(00:02:18) Sponsors: Plunge & ROKA
(00:04:59) Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness
(00:11:41) Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music
(00:18:59) “Win-Win”?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing
(00:28:38) Generosity
(00:32:46) Sponsor: AG1
(00:33:44) Hostile Negotiations, Internal Collaboration
(00:39:40) Patterns & Specificity; Internet Scams, “Double-Dip”
(00:48:15) Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions
(00:54:46) Negotiations, Fair Questions, Exhausting Adversaries
(01:01:09) Sponsor: InsideTracker
(01:02:18) “Vision Drives Decision”, Human Nature & Investigation
(01:07:47) Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”
(01:15:42) Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective Cues 
(01:20:39) Online/Text Communication; “Straight Shooters”
(01:26:47) Break-ups (Romantic & Professional), Firing, Resilience
(01:32:16) Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes
(01:37:35) Readiness & “Small Space Practice”, Labeling
(01:45:17) Venting, Emotions & Listening; Meditation & Spirituality
(01:51:41) Physical Fitness, Self-Care
(01:57:01) Long Negotiations & Recharging
(02:02:40) Hostages, Humanization & Names
(02:08:50) Tactical Empathy, Compassion
(02:15:27) Tool: Mirroring Technique
(02:22:20) Tool: Proactive Listening
(02:29:48) Family Members & Negotiations
(02:35:21) Self Restoration, Humor 
(02:39:01) Fireside, Communication Courses; Rapport; Writing Projects
(02:47:45) “Sounds Like…” Perspective
(02:50:54) Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac
Disclaimer

In this episode, my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate difficult conversations of all kinds, including in business, romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in person and in written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication skills and for those who want to be able to keep a level head in heated discussions. 
For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.
Use Ask Huberman Lab, our new AI-powered platform, for a summary, clips, and insights from this episode.
Thank you to our sponsors
AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman
LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/hubermanlab
Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman
Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman
Timestamps
(00:00:00) Chris Voss
(00:02:34) Sponsors: LMNT & Waking Up
(00:04:59) Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness
(00:11:41) Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music
(00:18:59) “Win-Win”?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing
(00:28:38) Generosity
(00:33:06) Sponsor: AG1
(00:33:44) Hostile Negotiations, Internal Collaboration
(00:39:40) Patterns & Specificity; Internet Scams, “Double-Dip”
(00:48:15) Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions
(00:54:46) Negotiations, Fair Questions, Exhausting Adversaries
(01:02:18) “Vision Drives Decision”, Human Nature & Investigation
(01:07:47) Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”
(01:15:42) Face-to-Face Negotiation, “738” & Affective Cues 
(01:20:39) Online/Text Communication; “Straight Shooters”
(01:26:47) Break-ups (Romantic & Professional), Firing, Resilience
(01:32:16) Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes
(01:37:35) Readiness & “Small Space Practice”, Labeling
(01:45:17) Venting, Emotions & Listening; Meditation & Spirituality
(01:51:41) Physical Fitness, Self-Care
(01:57:01) Long Negotiations & Recharging
(02:02:40) Hostages, Humanization & Names
(02:08:50) Tactical Empathy, Compassion
(02:15:27) Tool: Mirroring Technique
(02:22:20) Tool: Proactive Listening
(02:29:48) Family Members & Negotiations
(02:35:21) Self Restoration, Humor 
(02:39:01) Fireside, Communication Courses; Rapport; Writing Projects
(02:47:45) “Sounds Like…” Perspective
(02:50:54) Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Momentous, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
Disclaimer
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