Simon Sinek

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How to Stop Being Socially Awkward (According to Science) with Behavioral Scientist Vanessa Van Edwards

A Bit of Optimism

My career is an accident. It started when I set out to rediscover my passion and reignite a spark I’d lost — and that journey led me to the work I do now.

If you know me from my books or my speaking, you know I’m fascinated by why people do what they do. What makes someone find joy and meaning in their life, or pursue something far greater than themselves?
I started A Bit of Optimism to explore those ideas and expand my own perspective. This podcast is a trove of honest conversations, with people who challenge me, teach me, or simply help me see things in a different way. Some guests are household names, and others you may be meeting for the first time. But each one of them has something to share that can help all of us grow.

So if you’re looking for a spark — some insight, inspiration, or just a reminder that good things are possible — join me on A Bit of Optimism! 

Let’s grow together.

Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word.

Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike.

Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, she makes the case that social skills aren't a personality type, they're learnable. And she believes we are living in the most critical moment in history to start learning them.

In this episode you'll learn:

➡️ Why "just be yourself" is unhelpful advice + potentially cruel

➡️ The important everyday interactions technology + AI replaced

➡️ Where to stand at a party so someone always talks to you

➡️ How to have better conversations (+ why you already have the skills)

➡️ What the real antidote to awkwardness is

➡️ How to practice micro-social skills without turning people off

➡️ Why we’re all ambiverts + how to understand ambiversion

➡️ How soft skills drive major career inflection points

➡️ The concept of social fitness + the “nutrition” of your relationships

In this conversation, Vanessa lays out how even the most socially anxious among us can build real connections and become more likable… even in a world that has quietly removed all the places we used to accidentally get good at being human. And the secret isn't confidence. It's something far more generous.

This… is A Bit of Optimism.

Watch A Bit of Optimism on Spotify, and Spotify Premium users can enjoy the show ad-free.

To pre-order Vanessa’s new book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, head to: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation/

Want to learn more people skills from Vanessa? Check out The Science of People: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/

Chapters
Chapters

00:00:00 Social Skills in the Digital Age Crisis
00:01:47 Vanessa's Journey: The Accidental Social Skills Expert
00:05:45 Mistakes Everyone Makes Learning to Improve Social Skills
00:08:09 Where Did Our Places to Practice Being Human Go?
00:11:17 Where to Stand at a Party When You Don't Know Anyone
00:14:17 The Ambivert Reality: Social Fitness and Friendship Nutrition
00:18:07 The Discomfort Problem: Why Young People Avoid Rather Than Adapt
00:21:33 Put the Shoes in the Box: The Art of Knowing When to Stop
00:34:54 Intention Matches Action: Defining Authenticity
00:46:56 The Power of Being Seen: How Love Changed Everything
00:49:51 The Ultimate Social Skill: Helping Others Feel Normal
00:42:20 Micro-Social Skills: Finding the Parts of Yourself You Like

Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

Website: http://simonsinek.com/

Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful

Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek

Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/

Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

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