107: Ian Petey: Anger That Serves Life

How do you make sure anger eventually turns into violence? Just suppress it for long enough and keep feeding it with thoughts about who the bad guy is. We sat down with Ian Petey, a CNVC certified trainer who has lived in Eastern Europe for 32 years, on the evening after the first day of his workshop on anger, guilt and shame in Brno. Ian explains why, in his view, there is nothing wrong with anger and how it can become a powerful force for change. We talk about how enemy images and judgments keep anger spinning, and what is left when we manage to put them aside: an energy that protects our needs. Why do two NVC trainers in a marriage have more conflicts rather than fewer, and still find their way back to each other much faster? Why does anger sometimes turn into sadness or shame when we focus on it? And what does it mean to move from anger to concern?

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