Why You Don’t Feel Loved (even when you are) - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a psychologist, professor, and author. What does it really mean to feel loved? People say "I love you" all the time, but why doesn't it always register? Why can someone love you deeply, yet you still don't feel it? What does real love actually feel like? Expect to learn if there is a commonality between all of the happiness interventions out there, why feeling loved is important, how self-esteem and self-love are related, why having a sharing mindset is so important, what it actually means to be understood, the things that make you happier you might be overlooking, and much more... Sponsors: See discounts for all the products I use and recommend: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/deals⁠⁠ Timestamps: (0:00) Why Do We Need to Feel Loved? (2:51) Don’t Spend Your Life Trying to Be Loveable (5:22) What It Really Means to Feel Loved (6:36) The Biggest Ways Push Love Away (9:39) Do Self-Esteem Interventions Exist? (13:43) Is Romantic Love the Most Important Type of Love? (16:20) The Words More Powerful Than ‘I Love You’ (18:10) Why Receiving Love Is a Skill (19:24) The Importance of a Sharing Mindset (24:35) Are Vulnerable People More Likeable? (30:09) Why Validation Changes Everything (32:54) Is Therapy Speak Helping or Hurting? (36:59) We Need to Ask Deeper Questions (40:03) Why Multiplicity Can Be So Hard (44:07) The Strongest Predictors of Relationship Success (48:51) Should Everything Be Reciprocal? (55:24) The Habits That Make You Feel Loved (58:34) The Most Fascinating Study Sonja Has Conducted (01:01:17) Is This the Best Definition For Introvert and Extrovert? (01:05:23) The Biggest Misconception About Happiness (01:08:56) What Should We Prioritise to Be Happy? (01:11:19) Where to Find Sonja Extra Stuff: Get my free reading list of 100 books to read before you die: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/books⁠⁠ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic: ⁠⁠https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom⁠⁠ Episodes You Might Enjoy: #577 - David Goggins - This Is How To Master Your Life: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Goggins⁠⁠ #712 - Dr Jordan Peterson - How To Destroy Your Negative Beliefs: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Peterson⁠⁠ #700 - Dr Andrew Huberman - The Secret Tools To Hack Your Brain: ⁠⁠lnkfi.re/SN-Huberman⁠⁠ Get In Touch: Instagram: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast⁠⁠ Email: ⁠⁠https://chriswillx.com/contact⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices